Great news - Casablanca is a "franchise" now
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“Casablanca is not one movie. It is ‘movies.’” - Umberto Eco
“Nothing is changing today,” the Netflix team reassured subscribers in an email that arrived - comfortingly - at 1:07 in the morning last Saturday.
But something had changed.
And no, I’m not referring to the C-suite anacondas currently coiling themselves around our last remaining movie theaters.
I’m talking about Casablanca - the 1942 Warner Bros. classic many have called the greatest Hollywood movie ever made - and what Netflix ownership might mean for its future. You see, buried in that late-night communiqué was a clue:
That’s right: Casablanca is a franchise now. Or it will be, if Netflix has its way with it.
The other day, I dashed off a Substack note imagining what a data-driven, straight-to-streaming Casablanca franchise might look like. It attracted a surprising amount of “engagement velocity” - and was even quoted in Ted Gioia’s latest post.
So, in the spirit of KPI-optimized entertainment, here is a deeper dive into what a CCU - Casablanca Cinematic Universe - might look like, should Netflix manage to acquire it.
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Casablanca 2 (2028)
Round up the usual suspects - we’re going back to Casablanca.
Ryan Reynolds is Rick. Ana de Armas is Ilsa. Millie Bobby Brown is Captain Louis Renault. Sam? Well, Sam isn’t tickling the ivories anymore - she’s a Twitch streamer / DJ, spinning bangers and spilling sassy hot takes. Jenna Ortega, perhaps?
Unlike the original Casablanca, which was filmed - inauthentically - on the Warner Bros. lot, Casablanca 2 will be shot entirely in and around North Africa. Well, Serbia, technically - but that’s closer to the real Casablanca than Burbank. And cheaper!
The script for Casablanca (1942) was based on Murray Burnett and Joan Alison’s unproduced play Everybody Comes to Rick’s - risky, unproven IP. It was optioned for $20,000 - approximately $440,000 in today’s money. The screenplay’s immortal dialogue was crafted by Howard Koch, Julius and Philip Epstein, who were also well compensated with steady studio contracts. Theatrical profit and decades of ancillary revenue have raked in hundreds of millions in profit.
So, was it worth the investment? Not by today’s standards!
That’s why the script for Casablanca 2 (2028) will be written by a “hungry” non-union screenwriter fresh out of UCLA undergrad. She will also be paid $20,000 - and she’ll be assisted by NIMBUS™, a stochastic parrot trained on millions of hours of global streaming habits. NIMBUS™ will ensure the story contains the precise ratios of action, romance, and neon lighting to optimize watch time in the coveted 18–44 demographic.
Casablanca featured some of the most recognizable dialogue in film history. Casablanca 2 will feature even more recognizable dialogue - in the form of shopworn zingers like “Oof, that’s gotta hurt” and “Don’t tell me... he’s right behind me, isn’t he?” Should viewers happen to leave the room or momentarily pass out, no worries - the story will be streamlined for casual “second screen” viewing.
As for the story’s controversial themes - refugee displacement, resistance movements, Nazi officers - those will be smoothed out to avoid offending any international markets. This time, the plot will pivot to flashier global-spy hijinks, possibly involving elements of mythology, demonology, and K-pop.
Casablanca’s legacy has only grown stronger in the 83 years since it was released. Following the 2015 terror attacks in Paris, the “La Marseillaise” scene went viral. It is perhaps the most enduring and iconic Hollywood movie ever produced.
Casablanca 2, by contrast, will spend a week in the Netflix “Top Ten,” tucked between Love Is Blind: Nebraska and Is It Cake? on the carousel before sinking unceremoniously into the digital Mariana Trench. It will never be shown in a movie theater. No one will quote it. Not even Sam will play it again. It will simply be forgotten.
That is, of course, until Casablanca 3 (2031) drops. Here’s looking at you, Tilly Norwood!
For the humans who make movies - and for those who love watching them - the world of Casablancas 2, 3, and beyond looks pretty grim. For shareholders, it looks like the beginning of a beautiful cinematic universe - a fresh “hill of beans” for the bean counters.
The question is: Are we willing to stick our necks out to defend the culture that matters most to us? Or will we allow it to be defiled until it stops mattering at all?
After last week’s post about what teaching at NYU has taught me, a few people slid into the inbox asking if I ever do one-on-one creative coaching. Shocker: I do!
So, in the spirit of the holidays, Underexposed subscribers get 50% off a 3-session pack until Christmas. Just enter the code “UNDEREXPOSED” at checkout.
I’m only taking a handful of people because, tragically, there’s only one of me. Click here for more info --
News Reel
With approximately eight trillion takes ricocheting around about the proposed Netflix–Warner Bros. megadeal, you might be feeling overwhelmed. Luckily, Ted Hope has organized a plethora of them here for the “soft launch” of his newest Substack project, FilmStack Deep Dive. Don’t forget to subscribe - paid proceeds will be used 100% to raise funds for an Emergency Relief Filmmaker Crisis Fund.
“People are going to want to go outside and meet or go to the theater. Like, we’re not just going to want to be fed AI slop for 16 hours a day.” Analysts are reacting to yesterday’s Disney / OpenAI deal, framing it as a dividing line in entertainment history.
A sprinkle of good news on an otherwise gloomy week: Letterboxd Video Store launched, allowing users to rent curated rarities that are either out of print, or never got distribution to begin with. Among them is Alexander Ullom’s acclaimed 2025 horror film It Ends, which I’m excited to check out myself.
“Having it be so impossible for people to tell stories is capitalist hell,” Kristen Stewart told the New York Times this week when discussing the movie industry. “We’re in a pivotal nexus, because I think we’re ready for a full system break. […] Some of the terms and rules and structures we’ve set up have created unbelievable barriers for artists to express themselves.”
This week’s Underexposed Movie Pick:
The Summer Book (2025, Charlie McDowell)
In film school, you are presented with three rules: Never shoot on an island, never film with kids, and never film with animals. Director Charlie McDowell managed to break all three, and I’m grateful he did. The more noisy and chaotic the world becomes, the more I find myself drawn to the pastoralia of films like The Summer Book. Based on Finnish author Tove Jansson’s 1972 memoir, The Summer Book transports us to a rocky, remote island in the Gulf of Finland, where a young girl, Sophia, spends the summer with her grandmother (Glenn Close) following the death of Sophia’s mother. Close gives a luminous performance - she spent hours in the makeup chair applying prosthetics, and even slept on the island throughout the shoot. Critic Nell Minow called The Summer Book “a haiku of a movie” - it’s a meditation on family, death, and the restorative rhythms of nature.
Where to watch The Summer Book
Rent or buy it here.
That’s all for the free edition. For paid subscribers, here it is…
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